I was doing a little research and ran across a blog that was made by a white male and he asked this question: I'm wondering if black women find white men to be at all attractive. Most "mixed-race" couples I see tend to be white male/asian female or black male/white female, and I haven't seen many black women with white fellas.
I've always found black women extremely attractive, but have always been a little more nervous than usual about approaching them.
Any thoughts? Be completely honest, and don't worry about political-correctness.
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43 comments:
I am a black woman who have never dated outside my race and until recently I never thought I would. You see I have met the sweetest, most sincere, handsome white guy who treats me like the queen that I am. Black men today excuse my French are full of crap. They are selfish, dishonest, and immature. I fear that if I stay dating within my race I will never find my Mr. Right. I want to see where this new found friendship will lead me and hopefully it will lead me to happiness.
Well It seems "Anonymous" that you've been hurt before from Black men but you'll learn that Men are Men no matter what Color we all do stupid stuff. Now as for putting "All" black men in one Category saying we are Selfish, dishonest, and immature then I think that's wrong.
Now I do agree that the black man today is kinda scandalous. However, white men does not have the black man's swagger or thug appeal. Yeah white men MAY treat their women better, but are they as good in the bed? I am a chocolate sista who has been hit on by many white men and I am happy to say that I have rejected all of them. I think culture plays a huge part in inter racial dating. We have nothing in common! White men cannot get inside my head the way a brotha can or hit that spot if you know what I am saying. LOL. Why do you think white women want our brothas so bad? They know what we got! Author how do you feel about inter racial dating?
I use to be closed minded on dating outside my race but now I'm open to it. The way I look at it is We are all Gods People and if a female of whatever color can love and respect a brotha then hey it's all good. So Race should not be an issue.
It appears as if you took offense to my non politically correct answer. I thought we was being honest about our feelings. Yea I have been hurt a many of times by Black men and this is what I based my conclusion on. The majority of Black men do not know how to treat a REAL woman because most of us it too small minded to know we deserve better so we accept the BS. I bet if I knew you on a more personal level you would fit into that category perfectly and this is why you was offended by my comment. Are you selfless, honest, and mature? How do you treat your woman? Are you faithful and provide her with unconditional love? I bet you do not because you can't. Most black men are afraid to love unconditionally. They are afraid of being hurt again as if they have not hurt 100's of women along the way. They get hurt once and that is it. Damn right I have been burned by the BLACK man.
Well your "NON Politically" Correct answer did not offend me at all. I understand this is an Opinion and everyone will not see eye to eye on subject that I post which will make the post more entertaining and fun. Now as far as how to treat a woman I'm sure I can treat a woman the way she should be treated without becoming some slave to her. But all in all every relationship is going to have it's bumps and bruises so I can't categorize every "Black woman" I've dated that didn't work out as BAd and non worthy for a whole race if you know what I mean.
Somehow I knew you was a sellout brotha and liked the snow. Yes, we are all God's children, but what does that have to do with the tea in China? We were divided for a reason, right? We don't think alike, our ways of living is totally different. The way we raise our children, the food we eat, the way we dress, and most of our worldviews are different. Culture!! You don't take those things into consideration when searching for love? I know they say opposites attrack, but do you think this is what they had in mind? Why do you think race is such an issue and have always been a huge issue when it comes to finding love and dating. We are all human and our body parts operates the same, but that is it. We are different so different. Brotha don't sell out! You was not close minded before, you was thinking very clearly. Stick with what you know. Why did you change your mind anyways? Was you hurt by black women?
"Wow!!" I did not know I was a "Sell out" I mean why the nasty Name calling? How about this I may put together a blog on what constitutes a person Being a "Sell Out?" Does this only Apply to black men who date outside their Race? Well hey been called allot of stuff but Sellout is New.. Can someone Define that term please?!!!
I did not ask you if you could treat a woman (your woman) the way she should be treated. I asked you if you do treat her that way. I am sure we all possess the know how but how many of us utilize the skills and the know how to do so. You mentioned something about becoming a slave to your woman. Where did the word slave come into play in this conversation? This is the Black man's way of thinking. If they treat a woman with respect and kindness then he is her slave. In those relationships with all the bumps and bruises who created most of the problems? It was most likely you who did most of the abusing and this is why you did not blame the Black woman. My White considerate, sweet, safisticated friend is looking better and better the more I speak with you on the subject. You did not answer my question because you know that I am right. Do you treat your woman with respect, treat her like a Queen and love her unconditionally?
Wow. I was married to a white man but before and after him I had and have been in relationships with black men. I feel that there always has to be physical attraction, but its how you flow and mix with a person that makes a real relationship last. I personally need to have a few common interests with somebody. There arent many white men who feel as passionate about music....mostly r&b, hip hop, and rap, that I do. For me swag is what does it. Many white women don't know what swag is. They are attracted to a guys butt, or his eyes. Swag is the whole picture, the attitude.
Everybody is different. Color shouldn't matter. Like my 5 year olds says....we all red on the inside!!
There have been no white men that have treated me like a queen...on the other hand, I feel like a princess when I am with a black man because of the respect I get, and maybe that respect is given to me because I give it right back. The white men I have been with have not been very independant, so it is hard to give respect when they look down on themselves or dont hold themselves very high. This is where the swag comes in...even a shy guy :-) can have swag, and that is what catches my eye.
You see Loco agrees with me to a degree about the brothas swag. Salt and Pepper said it best "I need a ruff neck" LOL. However, if color does not make a difference then why she don't date white men anymore? She likes our cultural ways of life like our music preference. She is acknowledging that there is a difference. Yes, she say we all bleed red blood but so does animals. Some animals like apes have many similarities as human beings. Does that mean we should date them too?
AT "Anonymous" I will say what does it matter to you how I treat a woman it seems as explaining that to you will only be asking for your Acceptance. So like I mentioned before I treat All Women with respect..
I was not name calling when I called you a sellout. I believe that people who date outside their race are sellouts. It is just my personal opinion. I believe in "Unity", being as a whole. Do you know that white people made it law that if you have a drop of black blood in you then you are to be considered black? This is why our President is labeled the first BLACK President and not the first mixed President. I have spoken with many black women and they were proud that he had a sista on his arm. During the days of slavery white women were considered the forbidden fruit and now black men view them as trophies. I have many brothas who use to be curious about what it would be like to date a white woman so they did and found out it was more than just different skin colors. It was a different experience to say the least. White men do not want brothas dating their women either and they make sure the ones who do pay for it some kind of way. A lot of brothas who date white women do not like sistas dating white men, go figure.
Wow....to each his own. I personally have been told i am black because of my personality and swag. I do not try to talk differently or perp. I am just me, and was never raised around colored people. I just respect the ethnic difference, and admire people who take their background seriously but can be respectfuly and educated enought to not categorize people because of their color. lately I have been approached by a few black guys who acted white....not my try at all, but who am I to judge.
Hi All! I am joining the conversation late and I absolutely love the posts. What a great conversation.. good job FF2020 on putting it out there.
Okay, so "sell out" I think was a bit harsh. "liked the snow" LOL... I wouldn't say that rings 100% true for you, but I do know that you are loving and open minded, so let it be what it is...
INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS - Can I just say that when I was younger I thought I would never date outside of my race? But I did, not cause black men did me wrong, but because I ran into a Puerto Rican Papi that was fly as hell and had swagger for days. I would date a white man, yellow, brown, hell purple as long as I am attracted he is respectful, has his own mind, and we click like that.
I don't think all black men are one thing or another, I also resent black men saying Black women are one thing or another. Do a post on that... why do so many men (men in general) feel that black women are hard, mean, money hungry, or whatever?
Black men are beautiful. I love the way dark chocolate skin looks next to mine (I am Black woman btw). I love a real honest black man, who says what's what. Who can say what he doesn't like, but also says what he DOES like. I love a black man that picks a flower from the garden for me, just cause he thought of me. There are black men like that...
We are ALL God's children. We are ALL in made in his image, in my opinion. And if you are 6 foot or better all men are fair game to me.
That's my opinion... as an FYI, there are non-black men who are selfish, dishonest and immature - they just can't get away with it and still get the love black men do, cause they lack the swagger of a black man. Just being honest... we all know its true. That swagger makes chicks forgive real quick... can't blame that on the man... (Smile)
Loco I do believe you when you say that black men give you respect. As I mentioned in my last response many black men view white women as a trophy because they were once unobtainable. Sistas treat their men with respect too and is rearly given that same respect in return. It is not because we are not worthy but because we are not appreciated. Maybe that is why anonymous has become a sellout because brothas did not appreciate her? I on the other hand hold out hope that one day my Black men will wake up and smell the Chocolate,LOL.
Focus, I think she anonymous was trying to use you to make her point about brothas not respecting the sistas.
If I was a trophy then soem of the black men i have dated would have brought me around their friends and family. A trophy is something you are proud of. They was scared of what their peeps would think, and the wrecked a few relationships. Be proud of who you are and who you have on your team!!! We all bring something different to the table. Chocolate just happens to be my favorite dessert! ;-) (trying to not be offended)
What's going on in the world today!!! hahaha!! Did I just read, "I wasn't raise around Colored people?" Loco who taught you that? Anyway I see what you're saying but the "Raise around "COLORED" People" Raised an eye brow on my end.. Now T-mac what's up with that Post you want me to do? like the Stereotypes that are used against "Men and Women?" or Black men and Women? And Ms. Chocolate I choose not to battle anonymous on that issue of How I treat Women Makes NO since because I don't represent the whole black male community on this matter and that's where that conversation was heading.
I meant raised around people of any color other thatn peach!! haha And by raised, I mean my childhood.
"At" anonymous and not to anonymous WOW. How do you figure by answering the question will be asking for my acceptance? I asked you how do you treat your woman because you are the ONLY black man who commented on the subject. Not answering the question only proves that I am right. T-Mac was correct when she said that ALL men can act that way but black men are the only ones who get away with it because they have Swag. Black men know this and so they find no need to change. Black men treat white women like princesses just like white men treat black women like Queens. Yea Chocolate Thunder I am a sellout and I am going to keep sellingout or go broke messing with these sorry Black Men.
Hahahaha, you see in the end when it's all said and done, the truth will be revealed. A white woman who only dates black men still see us as Colored People. Is that the name slave owners used? They will sell us out the first chance they get. Loco was backed into a corner and came out fighting. No offense Loco because I bet that you are a very nice person and is not a racist.
I am a beautiful black woman and I have been equal opportunity when it comes to dating. I have to disagree that "all" white men are not good in the bedroom. Each race has its exemplary assets and also those unfortunate duds. I find that I am attracted more to personality and how he treats me than race. Being with a different race is intimidating at first, because it is out of your comfort zone. But I have realized that there are more things to share and gain perspective and insight when you keep an open mind.
I am looking for happiness and a man that treats me like a Queen, regardless of his race.
Let me start off by saying that I am viewed as and was raised as a Black Woman. What does that mean? Well my grandfather is half black, half white, my great grandmother is 100% Cherokee Indian, my great, great grandfather is Puerto Rican, my great, great grandmother is Canadian, and the list goes on and on. With that being said the world still views me as a Black Woman and I gladly accept that title.
I personally prefer to date and am very attracted to black men; however I am not against inter-racial relationships. I feel much more comfortable dating Black Men because I feel they understand my struggle as a Black Woman. I must say that I have never had a relationship with a Black Man that was so bad that I would just stop dating them all together.
For those of you who won't date outside your race because you want to "keep it real" so to speak, I believe you are doing yourself an injustice, because you may miss out on something/someone wonderful. For those of you who have given up dating those within your race because you feel that they are not capable of providing you with what you need, you may want to ask yourself if their is something that you could be doing wrong to have so many failed relationships. People are so quick to point the finger at other people, when in fact sometimes they should be pointing the finger at themselves or maybe it could be that it took so many failed relationships with one race to find out that they just weren’t your type.
Either way it goes this World is way too diverse to be closed minded so to each its own.
Well put "1 part Caramel"!!!
Well well Looky here????
I am a black man who has dated just about every race known to mankind. I don't believe any person should be told they can only date or feel attracted to any one race. We don't choose who and what pleases our internal attractions do we? Do u look at a person and say to yourself " i will be attracted to this persons eyes, lips, chest, butt, etc.. but only if they are my race"? We as humans are so caught up in such minor B.S. we loose focus on whats really important in the little time we have to live and love on this rock we call earth. I am a 34 year old black man divorced after 14yr marriage to a white woman and have 4 beautiful children from that marriage. Could have easily been a woman of any race. Sure I am a man and I am attracted by the physical characteristics of the female body and these same characteristics can be found in any race no? Like wise I am also stimulated by the intellectual intelligence of a woman aswell, which in no way is limited to any one race no? Wake up people get out of the comfortable secure box you live in and think outside of the box since when is self destructive behavior not just that? Do you really think an entire race can be defined by the actions of one instance or even a hundred? So ya got the shitty end of the stick so what it's life and life is in no way fair live and learn then live some more... I myself am mixed race Black and puerto rican had my parents been as self destructive as so many of you I would not exist, and how many of you readers think you are of 100% pure blood line? There for if it was up to you, all blood lines would be pure and the mass majority of mankind would not exist today no? I agree our cultures are different and belief systems aswell and yes it is a major challenge to blend the cultural, religious, and even family oriented views to such a point where it's of no conflict between two people but i do know if the two people have much more in common than "swag" or the ability to "Put it down" etc... they will have what it takes to grow old together. Thus being my reason I'm divorced "mental stimulation" or lack there of... not because she was white or we come from different cultural back grounds. As an adult I am still plagued by the shallow mentalities of the entire human race. Black folks consider me an uncle Tom because I speak with proper English and held a 4.0 GPA and white folks think I'm a prodigy for the same reasons??? Since when does being educated and speaking with proper English deem a black man as being an uncle Tom and or sell out? So you tell me why do we sit around complaining about what makes others happy and not focus on what makes us happy? If you feel you need to stay within your race so be it, it's no crime and vice versa no? I'm a single father as we speak not because I don't see anything pleasing to the eye on a daily basis. I am a single father because I have yet to find a "woman" stimulating to my mind, for that is what will carry us into old age when swag and sex will fall to the very bottom of the "what i see in you chart...." To those who want insight into the world I live in check out my page here------>www.myspace.com/tonimota
There is so many more important things going on in this world than who is dating who and why..... Keep in mind I am not defined by the color of my skin, but by the content of my character... To the Author job well done no matter who who dat black white or ape lol you seem to be a very educated and well experienced young man based upon your blogs... Keep up the great work... Ak~signatures
This is definitely an interesting topic and you all have had some interesting answers. I believe it shouldnt matter if a person is white, black, asian, whatever, whether or not you date them. Its all about the person and whether or not that person has characteristics that you like. I've only been with black men but I myself am a product of it. My father is black and my mother is asian. I dont date black men because my fathers black. I do because I want to and I have more in common with them. I havent really been in a relationship with another race but if I was ever in a situation to be in one, I would be open to it. I believe our decisions on who we date are inevitably based on where we grew up and the type of people we associate ourselves and also our experiences. In every race you will have men with the same characteristics as well as the same with women. But that's my opinion.
AK DID YOU JUST call me an Ape?? hahaha I'll take Big Gorilla thank you!! What's good man! Glad to see another Brotha up in here..
1 part caramel in the real world you do not have to do something wrong to be treated like crap. And I think I did say that after several unsuccessful relationships with Black men, I realized they were not my type. I can also see why you take no offense to inter racial dating because you are mixed with some of everything, LOL. Stop kissing ass Author.
Alicia I don't think Anonymous would agree with you on that.. I think from reading her comments she's a "Waiting to exhale" Canidate
hahaha okay Part Caramel no more Mr. Nice Guy hu? I think I see another, "Waiting to Exhale" candidate.
Facts are facts and the truth of the matter is we all have a role to play in this world to keep the balance and some peoples roles are to complain about things they are unwilling to change while the others put in the work to make changes for you to complain about no? can you see the cycle its 360 degrees fool.... ;) This blog is so much bigger than Black and White people come on wake up! Shut up and eat the red pill or go take a nap... Done....
LOL author. I think I have finally exhaled. I can now breathe again and it feels damn good.
Why go there AK? This blog is meant to stimulate our thoughts on the subject. No complaints. I do not think anyone disrespected anybody elses opinion on the subject. Sit back, chill and enjoy the dialog. Hahahaha
Anonymous seems you have a lot of anger. Quite frankly I can care less how you feel about black men or any other men for that matter. At the end of the day your unhappiness will not affect mine, so kudos to you.
Chocolate oh Chocolate you called the author a sell out no? "Somehow I knew you was a sellout brotha and liked the snow. " followed up with -------> "Why go there AK? This blog is meant to stimulate our thoughts on the subject. No complaints. I do not think anyone disrespected anybody elses opinion on the subject. Sit back, chill and enjoy the dialog. Hahahaha"
your a hot mess sweat heart bless your heart.... find a position and play it dear... lmao!!!!!!!!
Did you read the part where I told him that I meant no disrespect to him by calling him a sellout? I guess not. You joined the conversation a little too late sweetheart so you lost a lot of information along the way. He started the blog to get different opinions on the topic. Snow, hey it is what it is, hahahaha. No offense intended, hahaha. Is that positioned enough for you?
Chocolate I think you've met your match... hahahaha!!
Chocolate you must at all times say what you mean and mean what you say.. I read every word of every post I clearly understand what's being said. The fact that you felt the need to back peddle and do a little clean up does in no way change the fact that you cast the first of many stones no? Judge not less the be judged no? It's clear your of the personality type that follows up every wrong doin with an empty apology followed closely with some make up sex right? Like you said it is what it is no?
Where is this match you spoke of focus? He do not want it with me. From your response I take it you agree with him. If that is the case, why did you start the blog and ask people to be honest? I guess the ones who agree with you have the best comments and all the others have been out witted? No Sweetie I have not met my match for I stand behind my opinion, which are only that our mere opinions. Therefore, there is no right or wrong. Obviously you took offense to the sellout remark and needed AK to back you up on it. In MY opinion you are a sellout. It is all good though. This is just one black woman's opinion.
On that note I am done because this seems to be a one sided topic.
This was my response to focus when he thought I was calling him names - I was not name calling when I called you a sellout. I believe that people who date outside their race are sellouts. It is just my personal opinion. I believe in "Unity", being as a whole.
Once again I stated that was my personal opinion on the subject. We all judge others so please realize that I did not back peddle or change my opinion. So please read all the post again and come with something better. I stood firm on ALL my statements Sweetie. Oh AK is so smart people, please recognize this. Focus let me give you some kind words too so maybe you will take my side too. Hahahaha
No this blog is about opinions of others and all just because I agree with some things people may say doesn't mean I'm on their side. I'm going to agree with what I feel is right..
My mama always told me if the person sitting next to you in class is not as smart as you or smarter get up and move... You can do bad by yourself... In short if one believes what they are doin will better them in anyway run with it..... whether i agree with their choice or not... We all have our own individual lives to live no? Love, peace and success to you all...
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