Where's the Love? With Valentines right around the corner,I've been reading more and More on this BS out here about Black men/black women and all and damn is all I can Say "Damn" is this what society actually think of us? Here's what Allot of people think about Us and No this isn't just White people for the closed minded I'm talking "EVERYONE" even blacks.
It seems that Single African-American men suggest that a number of Single Black women tend to exhibit behavior that is too ‘bossy,' too controlling, and excessively antagonistic. Many Single African-American women counter those criticisms and accusations by suggesting that Single Black men have no desire to commit to one woman, are not responsible fathers, and often times prefer Caucasian women and Asian women over the romantic companionship of African-American women. Popular feature-films such as Tyler Perry's "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" and "Why Did I Get Married?" highlight many aspects of the chasm between the genders in the Black Community.
I'm not going to agree on everthing said about the Women nor the men but ummm seems alot to be true..
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In a nut shell you get what you give. There are women out their that still know how to be submissive to their mate. I for one have done everything and anything for the men that have been in my life and that has gotten me no where. Has it changed me? Maybe a little. Has it stop me from wanting to love again? Not at all. I for one am not bossy nor controlling. I feel that ever one needs their own space at times. In regards to single black men not being responsible fathers, that's just not true. I know some very good single parent fathers and I take my hats off to you.
Black men love and admire the strength and qualities of a Good black woman. We are great homemakers, providers, and lovers. There is nolimit to a good, strong, black woman. The problem is that we are not always able to show the other side of us. The more compassionate side is not displayed as often as the aggressive side because black men will take advantage of it. The more she tries to please him, the more he takes her forgranted. I ask the question why is men so attracted to the women who abuse them? He won't care if she's abusing him for no reason, it's if she has a reason to fuse that bothers him. Rarely is the situation that what is given shall be returned.
I was talking to my Boo yesterday about this very same situation. I told him that he don't have a chance to see the other side of me. He finds me to be very confrontational and still he says that he loves me. He admire my strength and is intimidated by it at the same time. I am not submissive but I do know how to compromise. I just don't take any stuff so sometimes I can appear confrontational. There is two sides to me and it depends on which buttons you push side is revealed.
@anonymous: (The more compassionate side is not displayed as often as the aggressive side because black men will take advantage of it.) I think that's false Not all black men think like that. Also No one LIkes Abuse so I don't think that Men like women who Abuse them.
We are speaking on the majority. My Boo admitted to me that he don't deal with me the same way he deal with other women because he knows I ain't having it. But I have noticed a change in his attitude since I have been more compassionate to him lately. He has become more challenging. Now when I wasn't giving him the time of day, he would call me 5,6 times a day. These days I find myself calling him more and he is slowing down. I asked him if I was to give myself to him totally, how long would it be before he changed on me completely (the honey moon phase)? As long as I was (well not abusing him) but ignoring him, he loved my dirty thongs (LOL). He still care allot now but I fear the games will soon follow. I love to treat my man like a King. The only thing I request is for him to treat me like his Queen and not like some of the help. Most black men are afraid to love so they try to avoid the relationships where falling in love is a possibility and except lots of imitational love situations to fill the void and not feel so lonely. The angry black woman is an excuse for the woman he can actually fall in love with.
Point Taken.. I can kinda see where you going with that.
For the record, most black women are not single because they have to be. It's a choice that they, (we), have made until we find our Mr. Right. We have simply chosen not to play the game of being the bitter lover and have chosen to be the better friend, LOL. When you just have friends with benefits, you don't have to deal with all the extra drama. We've learned from our lessons and is not bittered by them.
Now more men seem to be bitter because the black woman is not neccessarily searching for a mate, but are looking for friends. They need to be needed. As soon as more black women catch on to the game, the more bitter black men you will see. LOL
Well I understand this is something I seen on an Article and Not something I 100% agree with but I do at some points. I think they are talking about a good percentage of black women that are "Suppose" as they see it Single because of these negative things that was said.
Was this article written by black women? If not then how would they know why black women are single; they can only ASSume. What are some negative things said about the white woman? If we dwell on all the negative we tend to overlook all of the positive. There are more positive things going on with the black woman. People just tend to focus more on the negative to lower our self esteem. What do you do when you think someone is better than you? You try to bring them down to your level. Don't confuse strength with attitude!
(What do you do when you think someone is better than you? You try to bring them down to your level. Don't confuse strength with attitude!) Well I can never bring any DOWN to my level because I don't feel I'm less than the next person. So this doesn't apply to me. But yea this article was written by a Black person. I don't agree with everything and yes there are negative things about White women also but being I deal with the black Race more seeing as I have a daughter and a Momma and sisters I thought this was interesting. And it's not like the Negative sterotypes are ALL wrong. They just don't apply to ALL black women.
I was talking about people when I asked what you do when you think someone is better than you and not you in particular. If you read all of this negative talk after awhile you will start to believe it. A black woman wrote this article or black man? I bet your grandmother is a no nonsense type of woman and to some she may appear to be hard but since you know that she is a strong, independant, and practicle woman you don't see her as being attitudish. Just because a black woman will curse you out when she finds out that you have cheated on her does not make her have an attitude. Just because a black woman will not accept your lies at face value does not make her have an attitude. Just because a black woman will not have sex at the man's beck and call does not make her have an attitude. Just because a black woman will not allow anyone to talk down to her without defending herself does not mean she has an attitude problem. If you stop to look at the principle behind her outbursts, you will she that she has a practicle reason for responding the way she does. Do not teach your daughter, sisters or female friends to allow people to treat them any kind of way in fear of the negative stereotypes from people who know nothing about or will never understand the problems of the BLACK WOMAN
Remember, women are from Venus and Men are from Mars... We think totally different. So when asking a man to figure out why women behave in a certain mannor, he is clueless because he is not able to think like a woman. He is not aware of his wrongful doing so he can't figure out why the woman is pissed off about it. Soon all of his wrong doing because her nagging. Most Black Women are only so expressively aggressive after being provocked (When a womans fed up). I don't know why men think we want to be hurt, lonely, beat up, or feel in avoidance of being loved. How dare us ask to be treated like we are prize possessions. We give our all to them and if we even dare look for 50% or more, we are problems because there are other women who will accept whatever percentage of himself that he is willing to give.
The better question is why are black women so angry all of the time? Have we as black men given them a reason to be so bitter and feel so betrayed? We are faithful, loyal, and willing to protect what's ours against all odds. Many men are not willing to fight over a woman, but a(black) woman will fight it out over and for her man. Our sacrafices or suffering is not appreciated, only the negative things are remembered in the end.
Take a minute and think about the Strong, Loyal, and Loving women in your life who have had to curse (not literally)you out a few times for your own good... Analyze all that I have said and then answer me this question, did they curse you out to be mean or did they do it for your own good?
Okay why they gotta use Tyler Perry ? To me those 2 movies don't even line up with controlling women. Kimberly Elise was actually very submissive until she was hurt , which caused the bitterness , but she did learn to love again . This scenario is very common for ALL women , not just black . On "Why did I get Married" , they were basically showing you alot of different aspects of marriage . All the couples were sucesssful , Yes Angela was a little bossy , but it was more because of the relationship he had with his baby's mother . If you watch the "Why did I get Married" play ( not the movie) , you will get a better understanding
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