Well I've been asked this time and time again and I think Today is a good day to bring it up. Let's all have a discussion on this right here, "Do women really feel men are scared of their Independence?" I read an article by "Soulliving" that brought up some questions I'd like answered. She made Great Points like in the songs Now days like lil boosie or LIL Webbie or LIL Foodstamp whatever talking about Independent women and how she has her own house her own car and her own money and really don't need a man for nothing but sex actually so ummm tell me is this true? Do many of you feel like that? Soulliving Pointed out this Fact, "Why do these songs regarding independent women always involve and focus on material wealth and vanity. Can a woman not be defined as independent solely based on your individualistic way of thinking outside of how much money she has or if she has toe nails that matches her range rover?"
1.Do you feel Black Men are afraid of successful, independent women?"
2. how do women define independence these days?
3.Does it entail you gaining financial wealth for self?
4.Making your own decisions regardless of your man?
5 Can you be independent and not single?
Let's get this Poppin!
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37 comments:
Here's what I think. I believe a woman's independence is defined by so much more than financial gain. I can't say I think men are afraid of an independent woman in any aspect however I do believe they are a little more hesitant to settle down with them because men like to feel as if they are in control, which on some level they should be and I stress some level, because they were created to be the head. A woman would be blessed to have the companionship of a man (notice I didn't say need) on some level because men serve many purposes and some of them a vibrator just can't take care of LOLOLOL. I think independent woman is one that is focused,driven, connected spiritually, financially independent, but also one that knows her role in the relationship, she can balance her man out. Besides women basically lead we just let you men think your leading LOLOL
1.Do you feel Black Men are afraid of successful, independent women?
I think that MEN, in general, are put off by IWs, if THEY don't feel that they are at the same level materialistically. Black men may take it a little more to heart. In my experience, it is always a problem, even when they say its not going to be. It is... just went through it.
2. how do women define independence these days? & 3.Does it entail you gaining financial wealth for self?
Like everything it depends on the woman. For me, my independence stems from my independent spirit and mind. My decisions on all things are based on factors I consider. I am not told what my decision should be and go with what I am told. I weigh the facts and get there on my own. Independence is a state of mind to some degree, but that state of mind often translates in having your own stuff which you bought after making your own decisions. So, ya, it can include your material possessions.
4.Making your own decisions regardless of your man?
Nah, not regardless. But you have to think about it, a lot of IWs are single. They don't have a man to make decisions with, thus they have formulated their own success. Dudes are so caught up in do them, they ain't trying to do an "us" type of thing or they are trying to run so many women at the same time, they aren't hardly interested in building with someone. The IWs who folks are rappin about are partly who they are BECAUSE of the men around or should I say not around.
5 Can you be independent and not single?
ABSOLUTELY!!! Speaking for myself, I have my own mind, but I like to make joint decisions with my dude, when I have one. I like to listen to his point of view, share mine, and see where we land. We may not always agree, but that is the art of compromise. From what my Mother says, I came out of the womb independent and self reliant, so that will never change, but I am good partner as well. One doesn't supersede the other.
I like that answer pretty decent but Can you be independent and not single?
HECK YA HINDSIGHT!!!! I agree 110%!!! (LOL!!! Everyone knows that Big Mama runs the house. Big Daddy just thinks he does) ;-)
T-Mac sounding like ummm issues with men Cause Big momma don't run nothing but her mouth that's about it.
Now me personally, I don't feel like money or wealth makes one independent. For me independence is a state of mine; I can be broke az a joke and need financial help and still be independent because everyone needs help from time to time.
I don't want a man for sexual purposes only because I want something deeper than just a quick fukk. To me that takes away from my value and I'm looking for someone to add too it.. I think that's the problem today and one of the reasons people don't enter into relationships for the right reasons; therefore, they never last. It's not about how the other person looks, how much money they have or how good he or she is in the sack,,, it's about that connection,,, I have to feel connected to a man in order for me to sleep with him.
I think men are afraid of being in a relationship with an independent woman because men need to feel needed..wanted... and appreciated.. Most independent women don't allow them to feel this way.. I'm old school,, men are suppose to be head of the household,,, but I also feel as tho they do have to EARN that right...
I also feel as tho men stray away due to the fact there's the potential for them to fall in love with these women... Most men is not trying to fall in love so they deal with women who is short term material. Independent women have the power to change men and some men is just not ready to change so the get scared..
Awww come on focused, you know dang well I am right. In how many black households have you heard "Ask your mama"?
You know I'm right ...
All of that being said, the mark of a true relationship is the one where folks outside of the house don't know the truth (SMILE).
Being Independent is okay, but i can't and wont understand when a woman say's she doesn't need a man for anything but SEX, thats so not tru, the truth of the matter is, is that she just never met the right man, or she is so caught up into herself that she overlooked him. It is not intended for women to be single and independent, that would make a world of lonely old hags. I can call myself independent, but i cant say i dont need a man, I want a man the can compliment my life, and add to it!! We just have to lower our nose a lil bit and recognize a real man when we see him. Because true independence comes, from Help of GOD. If a women is so small minded to think money defines her independencies, then she lacks the second most important thing in life, and that is Knowledge.
OH SHNAP! Mizz spoke the absolute TRUTH! On that note, I don't have anything else to say. Nice sum up.
Mizz do it on your own ummm NO WOMEN CAN CHANGE A MAN HE IS WHAT HE IS Till He decides to change so you're wrong on that one.
See now that's another problem focus why does T Mac have to be running her "Big Mouth" see you are proving that men have an issue with a independent woman because right here, when she voices her point you get to running off at the mouth, make sure your not the person YOU are making an example of in your blogs.
Why do women think they can actually change a Man anyway??? Who the hell left that Gate open?
Actually Hindsight I said Big Momma isn't running the house she's running her Mouth if someone believe that the woman are Really the household and pop not doing nothing. See a strong man is the strength in his household and NO Big momma is going to downplay that she's going to help him keep it strong. Why would a woman want to be with a man she can Run over and take control of the House and he's capable of being a part of this? It's call Team Work so No ONE person is Running a house hold. NO Divide and conquer here baby!!
I don't mean it like you are taking it Mr. Focus.. I mean some men use to get into allot of trouble until they met the right woman. I've heard many of men say they've changed because of Love. You are right, no one can change anyone,, one does have to change him or herself,, but certain influences do help. I have changed from dealing with certain men in My life. So don't look at change as being something negative.. Didn't Obama teach us anything..LOL
okay Mizz don't need no Man I guess you're right to a certain extent and as of right now Obama hasn't taught me anything but how to Give AiG more money...
Now I must say I don't want a man I can run. I also don't believe a man has to earn respect because the bible commands us to respect him, it didn't put conditions on it just like it didn't put conditions on men loving their wives, he knew at times neither of us would deserve either which is why he said to just do it, PERIOD! I'm also trying to figure out if your married how you can be that and still independant because how can you be on one accord if you have some sort of divide, I just wanna know can someone tell me, I'm not saying you can't be but I wanna know how you can????
Also women can't change men! Period, people in general have to want to change you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. You can show a person where they error but you can't make them do better, you are wasting too much time if your trying to change a man
Ladies let's also not forget that we are to build our men up, I don't care what anyone says that's what we are supposed to do. I have seen men shrink because of things there women have said. If you love him you should make him feel superhuman. I'm not saying he will always be superman sometimes he's not even Robin, he may not even be mighty mouse, but I know for sure you can at least help him visualize what he can be. A woman with wisdom will season her words and actions. Wisdom cryeth aloud in the street and sometimes it's telling us "shut yo damn mouth, fool."
Come on Focus, you know that I am more than right to an extent. You was just on the defense so you read into it with a negative perspective to begin with. It's cool tho, you do have to represent the men. And, please,,, give the man a chance. That's what wrong with people today,, no patience!! He's only been in office 3 months so give him some time to clean up this 8 year mess..LOL
Hindsight after reading your last comment you are no longer "blindsight" I applaud you, LOLOL!! OH and "Mizz I don't need NOBODY" I am giving Obama the benefit of doubt here I know he has his hands full but that AIG thing struck a nerve in my Toof (tooth)
WHO SAID I WAS BLINDSIGHT IN THE FIRST PLACE NEGRO LOLOL
hahaha!! Play nice!! Play Nice! I so sowwy "NOT!" Anyway I see topics like this get the blood boiling well let me bring some more information this way in the mean time.
Hindsight you are right, we do have to build our men up; however, I would like to add they have to build us up too. Most women do build their men up and all of the hurtful and negative attitude stems from having taken enough of his abuse. While we are building them up, they are tearing us down and giving us low self-esteems. Many men do this deliberately to ensure she stays with him; make her think no one else would want her. And she is still trying to build him up.
You should build your man up only if he is deserving. Sometimes what we think is love is lust and a complete waste of time. I know when my man makes me feel good, I'll go out of my way to make him feel the same. I've done some foolish things trying to build up the man I believed I loved, only he didn't love me the same. Now I know that they have to show me love before I start to think I love them.. Life Lesson..
Also Hindsight, we're talking about something totally different. We have mentors, family and friends who influence us in some shape or fashion, who help guide us to make certain choices. Through these choices we form paths that ultimately change our journies which in turn changes us. Yes, one must be ready and willing to change I never said that you could changes someone who wasn't. Look at the bigger picture is all I'm saying. A man could be a player and one day meet a woman who makes him want to stop being a player. He would rather give up all those other women because he don't want to take the chance of losing her. Growth, maturity
Mizz do you just say stuff to get a reaction out of me on here? What does You should build your man up only if he is deserving mean? I mean seriously why is he your man if he's not work being built up? Also this is not a scooby snack like only if he sits when YOU say sit is he worth building up..
Okay let me just say this maybe we should read what others are saying more clearly because I said we can have the power influence whatever you wanna call it to help guide our men. Now growth and maturity would mean we are all talking about the same thing. Immaturity is thinking you can do it on your own, and you will find yourself coming to yourself after you hit a brick wall. Next yes women have been through plenty at the hands of men however some of that comes from listening to other people in dysfunctional relationships, girlfriends, mothers, give us advice. I've been told if you do what other's want you to do you get their results. I'm trying to figure out what you are talking about because we are discussing a few topics here. Listen, read carefully, and then respond, that's growth and maturity
No Mr. Focus. Once again you are taking it in a way that is not meant. What I mean by deserving I thought I explained in the previous paragraphs, both parties should treat one another with respect, love one another and commit to each other. I agree, I don't want a man to just do as I say because I want a man who can keep me in my place without getting out of his.. I want a man who's gonna help me grow; be the best me I can be and I'll do the same for him. We are only as good as our partner.
Why are they our men? They are our men because we all want to be loved so sometimes we do dumb things in search of it. I know now that I shouldn't have been with, well every man in my past, but that's (no offense) hindsight.
Hindsight, I do apologize if I have offended you because truely that was not my intent. Therefore, I will not respond to this; it's truely defeating the purpose. So once agian, I'm sorry.
what does the no offense to hindsight mean because before I respond (which I will) I want to make sure im responding correctly.
Mizz I can do it on my own I reread it and get what your saying and I actually agree with your last few paragraphs
I like this unity here!! Thanks people!
The saying hindsight 20/20. If I only new before; thinking back. I'm not trying to agrue with anyone on here so please don't take anything I say personally. Now if I do feel as tho I'm disrespected, I would certainly ask to.. However, this is not the case so please don't take it like that.
And another thing Focus why do you have to approve everyone's comments that's like editorializing are you only putting up here what you can handle.
because hindsight it's my sight and I put up all the post I just try and make sure it's not name calling and stuff it's been done in the past I just try and make this a happy community? Is that to much Policing? Do I have to much Control for your liking? Does this kinda mean that you don't like getting acceptance from a Man before anything can be put up? hmmmmmm???? hahaha!! nah let me stop I was playing about those questions but all in all I just try and monitor the answers but I do post them up how about I just open them up for a while?
Being an independent woman isn't soley based on financial indepandence but the independence you have for self...
Can you get the job done in all areas? can you take care of the kids and handle the house and the bills if need be...
can you be the parent? can you be the friend? can you be the lover? As well as do the extra and keep it all in perspective....finances does help but it's the individual that makes the indepedence...not the independence making the individual....diva status is a must
baby doll all that sounds like just being a Strong Woman period....
exactly being a strong woman and being and independent woman are one in the same....
I real Woman can't change a man, nor is that a real woman's desire. But a real man at any point if he see's something that he need's to work on, he should want to do it anyways, to Please his woman. but that's only on his and GOD's timing. I don't want no "yes-mam" type of man, my mate and i have any issues or anything that needs to be addressed, then i think we should be able to discuss them together. The truth of it is, is would i want my man to tell me what i need to change?
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