Now understand these topics I'm bringing up are topics that men and women may discuss and I am bringing this to the blog. A few friends and I were thinking how crazy is it to have someone you're dating tell you they no longer want to have sex with you? And they do it after ya'll have a heated argument and you two no longer speak and that person actually sticks to what they say.. Would you be wrong in about a few days, weeks, or even Months or God maybe even years go get it else where? Are you a Dog then? Wouldn't that be the person who call themselves putting you on punishment fault?? This type of Topics crack me up cause I say what one person won't do another one will Shoot yourself in the foot doing shit like this.
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46 comments:
Well for one I'm all for having sex when angry, that is great sex the bomb sex actually especially if your in a i want it rough take your aggression out on me show me how mad you are kind of mood. I also feel like if you feel the need to go and get it somewhere else HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS, I'M NOT PRESSED AT ALL
i second that emotion.......
First of all no woman/man should cut off their significant other from sex because they are mad. You are not proving anything to anyone and you aren't getting yours either.
I know some people who have agreed that they won't have sex again until they are married, but they came to that decision together.
Bottom line if you don't want your man/woman to cheat then you shouldn't do things to push them to cheat.
Hindsight are you saying that if your mate feels like going else were to get it is fine with you?
I second that motion of caramel as well
Not have sex till marriage?? Wow that's grand!!! Anyway is that person wrong for going to get it elsewhere or was he or she provoked?
In response to your question Focus, this decision was mutual between a couple who had decided to get married and wanted to be right in God's eyes. It worked for them but it may not work for others.
Well let's see if you told your mate that YOU are no longer having sex does that mean they are supposed to stop having sex??? You made the choice for yourself... No it's not being a dog, it's taking care of yourself...I feel like this if you made the decision for yourself to withhold sex any man/woman who have the desire will get it filled..Trust ME!!
but I'm saying as a whole is someone wrong for going to get it somewhere else.. I believe that person who let that mess out their mouth that we ain't having sex anymore just put themselves on punishment not I... OH and @hindsight you seem cold blooded
focus I'm not cold blooded i'm just honest...caramel my man cheating is not fine with me,however i have been in the position where i have been sick and my man acted like he couldn't wait and threatened me with him getting it somewhere else and i feel like do you, I'm not the jealous type however you will pay for it, I'm not going to withhold it just to be mean but your absolutely not going to stress me or make me feel bad, if you feel the need to cheat because i'm not giving you what you need do you but you will also get tosssed out, doing you comes with a price and you better make sure it's one your willing to pay. I will give you all the sex you want, however if i can't I JUST CAN'T, now some people taking getting it somewhere else to a whole other level. Let's be real we shouldn't give our spouse sexually a reason to cheat and as long as we are open and honest sex with one another that won't happen, but some people are just selfish.
@hindsight there is a difference between "Cant" and "Wont" so if he cheats on the "Wont" it's your problem if he cheats on the "cant" it's his problem big time. But honestly if you not taking care of home best believe someone else will..and that only meant if you choose not to not because something happen and you "CANT" Ummm you still sound cold blooded hahaha! JK..but angry maybe.
If the relationship gets to the point where one partner is withholding sex, there's a greater problem than cheating. He/She is with holding it for a reason. Instead of just moving on to the next person, take time to figure out why the other person is withdrawing. Especially if this is the person you love. It's easy to obtain sex, but hard as hell to find love.
Wowsers!
"1PC" as usual I agree with you.
But can I ask, "WHY would someone cut their mate off if they didn't think they were already gettin it somewhere else?"
If you cut off sex aren't you ending the relationship? (not including a medical reason, hindsight)
And if that person is ending the relationship shouldn't they get the heck on?
AND why do people cut off sex with their mates without telling them that they are doing it? Just close up shop?
I have more questions than answers on this one... all I know is this comes down to communication once again.
man T-mac I'm with you who in the right mind wanna play that game? like Cutting off your nose spite your face
No T Mac, that's not ending yo relationship, it's adding more problems because the other person's not going anywhere. He/She is going to get needs met elsewhere and stay with the one they love.
I suppose it depends on the person... cause I can't see making that happen. I would try to talk about it and see what the underlying problem is. I would roll with it for a minute and try counseling or whatever, but at the end of the day, I believe sex is a very important part of the relationship.
If the issue isn't physically created and it is an active choice, I am not going to be a cheater, I am also not going to be unhappy. That move, if not corrected, would essentially end the relationship for me. Again, not day one, but without progress, we regress and I would regress right to being single again.
Who wants to stay with someone that is not giving them sex? I wouldn't do that mess!! man hecks nah!
NOw ms. exclusive I agree with you on everything you said.
focus LOL I'm not angry STOP IT
my question to focus is would you try and figure out why they are withholding or are you just stuck on your not getting it, sounds a bit selfish to me, maybe i'm reading it the wrong way
Now that I do agree with. I want to be happy and I want my partner to be happy as well. However, if he's not trying to make me happy outside of the bedroom, he won't be making me happy there either,, Feel me. I've learned thru past experiences that is not the best way of handling things... I don't intentionally withhold; however, it just turns out to be that way because he never put forth effort and eventually I did have to let him go. I gave him time maybe too much time because I cheated myself out of months of pleasure.. Yeah, I need it too so if I'm witholding,, somethings not right.
Try and figure out why you withholding? Try and Figure out??? What this ain't Trivia! Man if she can't talk to me and I gotta Figure it out is crazy to ask a man that is not related to Ms Cleo from psychic friends
okay well focus then you would fall under that selfish person I was referring too, because if you can't take the time to find out what's going on then your not being fair.. You can't expect your mate to give when your not willing to show you care or have an interest in what couuld be bothering him or her, your wrong for that flat out!
Come on now Focus,, you know that they have tried to tell you many times before it has come to this point. Now if you know your mate, you should be able to sense when something is wrong even if he or she doesn't tell you. It's called paying attention. I know when something is going on with my man even if he doesn't tell me or even if it has nothing to do with me so STOP it!!! You know what we mean.
Focus, I think it is more like "work it out" than "figure it out", though I do feel like withholding sex, love, companionship, ANYTHING, in a relationship is an immature move. Withholding anything in a relationship is selfish, but two wrongs don't make a right.
Everything is about communication, I swear that's the truth. Communication is one person talking and one person activly listening, so like Mz Excl said, in a relationship our mates are telling us what's up along the way.
But, let me just say, withholding is NOT an option folks. I think it is a real immature practice... folks need to use their words.
Yes, T-Mac, but are you suppose to keep having sex with someone who's not trying to make you happy outside the bedroom; meaning what if he cheats, physically and mentally abuse you or won't help pay any bills or spend any real time with you outside the bedroom, you still going to have sex with him. Like you said, we should give it some time before just ending the relationship. Now during this time, what am I supposed to do?
I agree that it is immature to withhold, but sometimes we have to use any powers we have to help level the playing field... Most likely, the people who are getting held out on have most of the power and don't use them in the right way. In order to be heard, we have to do some immature things.. I'm not one who does immature things on the regular, but sometimes my man doesn't bring out the best in me.
I just don't think withholding helps. You are still in the same situation, just now you are sexually frustrated trying to have a constructive conversation.
If he is all of those things outside of the bedroom, why be with him outside of the bedroom?
If withholding sex is because of fear of STDs then, I got it, I just don't get using sex as a weapon in a fight. That's me though. Plus that would never work with my ex. I am too easy to seduce when I am in a relationship. I feel like we can argue the point later.
Cut me off and get Cut out!!
Yeah, that's in the beginning where I feel as tho I can argue the point later. After awhile, we have major issues that have built up. I try not to be too sensitive or demanding and is willing to go thru a few things in my relationship.Therefore, if I am witholding, there's definately issues there. You are right, it doesn't solve anything, but sleeping with someone who is constantly making me unhappy doesn't either. Why reward him for doing me wrong? I say reward because to me sex is a reward for having a good relationship.
Now ladies come on, how many of us have not put up with allot of bullshit from the one we love? Things that NO one else would be able to get away with. It's not easy to say ok and just walk away.. Our minds tell us one thing and our hearts say something totally different... Most of us follow our hearts...
That's because you are not in love; can't be to have that attitude. Just like the G Spot subject. It's not whether or not a man can find her G-Spot, it's if he wants to find it. How can she show him anything in 5 mins,, Hahahaha
I'm sorry I am not for ever cutting off sex unless it is physically impossible for me to do it.
If it has come to the point in the relationship where I feel like my man doesn't deserve sex from me (per sae) then I need to rethink being in that relationship altogether.
If anything I will give my man sex to get what I want and if it is done right it will get done.
Well if YOU don't know where your Gspot is NO man will know where YOUR G-spot is either. Forget the guessing Game
1PC believe me when I say I does it right in the bedroom, but if you think sex will always get you what you want in the bedroom, I would have to disagree. My relationship is not based purely upon sex so at some point, many areas will have to be worked on. If another area goes wrong, it might affect the sex area. Once again, I don't think witholding solves anything, cause it don't, it just happens. Survey people and ask how long did they go without sex with their mate at the end of the relationship. Plus sometimes, shit most of the time, men become uninterested in sex with their mates so they withhold. They stay with their mates but don't have sex with them...
How do you know that she doesn't know? Maybe you just don't know how to get there. LOL Just joking Focus. However, if a man is doing a hit and run, most likely he's not trying to find her spot. So it really depends on whether ya'll are fukking or making love.
and that's real talk ms. exclusive
Mz. Exc maybe I was misunderstood, we all agree that not havind sex with your mate doesn't solve anything so why with hold?
Wouldn't that in fact create more problems in an already troubled relationship?
I'm not gonna sit up and lay next to dick every night and not get none, that's just torture.
Of course no relationship with substance is based purely upon sex there are other factors at play.
It's easy to go without sex at the end of the relationship because that's what it is the "end". At which point the with holding of sex is irrelavent.
Now I can feel that as well caramel
ALL I KNOW IS I WANT IT PERIOD. WHEN MY MUFFIN GET'S TO THROBBIN I WANT IT PERIOD....9 TIMES OUT OF 10 I WANT IT ALL THE TIME SOMETIMES I WANT IT PASSIONATELY AND SOMETIMES I WANT IT DIRTY, SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO BE FUCKED HOW BOUT THAT EITHER WAY GIVE TO ME
ALL I KNOW IS I WANT IT PERIOD. WHEN MY MUFFIN GET'S TO THROBBIN I WANT IT PERIOD....9 TIMES OUT OF 10 I WANT IT ALL THE TIME SOMETIMES I WANT IT PASSIONATELY AND SOMETIMES I WANT IT DIRTY, SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO BE FUCKED HOW BOUT THAT EITHER WAY GIVE TO ME
The majority of the time, at the end is where the sex is withheld anyways. As I stated to T mac, in the beginning, I'm like her I'll argue the point later. That's when makeup sex is considered good sex or the best, but after awhile it becomes pitty sex. Who wants to have pitty sex?
At the question bout making more problems for an already troubled relationship, does having sex make it any better for the victim? I'm sorry, I might not be ready to let him go, but at that moment, I don't enjoy having sex with him. I should know, I stayed in a loveless relationship trying to make it work for years, and didn't want to have sex with him for the last year. I know, I should've let it go, but I was givin it time so I thought. We had pitty sex tho.
Focus, when a man is coming close to hitting that spot, he'll know because she'll be yelling, making strange sounds, breathing funny and gripping the sheets. So that should tell him he's in the right facility,,LOL
Everyone does not react the same when their G-Spot is being stroked.
And on that note, Ms Exclusive, I bid ya'll a good day :-) That was real talk right there.
Hope ya'll have a great evening!
It was just a joke to Focus, messing with him. You are correct, everyone does not act the same, but there is some form of reaction... Rarely does a woman G-Spot get hit and she doesn't react. Plus, senses are more sensitive around it,, just my thought.. I don't know what the next woman does because I ain't never been in the room at the same time.
ummmm I'm still messed up on the "my Muffin" comment, hahaha! What a Muffin?? anyway that's almost as bad as saying Twat... Anyway to hit the G-spot to not hit the Gspot is the question I see. Well either way I ain't trying to play let's find the treasure if I'm only there to deep sea dive... So....
Now, my man has given me orgasims during 4Play, but the first couples times we had sex, he didn't hit my G-Spot.
Okay focus your a hater, call it whatever you want muffin va ja jay vagina whatever as long as you know where to find it and how to get er done you can call it whatever you'd like, take dat take dat LOLOL
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